I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
