I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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