I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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