I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
