Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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