I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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