Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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