she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
