If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
