Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
