Well apparently he's into motor boating.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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