which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
