So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
