You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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