Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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