i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
