We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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