Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
