And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
