Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just googled if crying burns calories
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
