On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
