operation have a gay friend backfired
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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