we have pet lesbian snakes
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
