Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
