I wanna passion pit in your ass
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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