Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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