the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
