is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
