We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just gargled with NyQuil
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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