woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
