So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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