we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
