Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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