Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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