Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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