I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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