Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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