No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dick very happy bro
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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