she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
NoShamevember. You game?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
