just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
