he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
