yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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