The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
