I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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