I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
