Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
