Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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