wakey wakey hands off snakey
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
