How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
