some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
