I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
