i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
