I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
