Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
