I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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