I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
