Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
A bitchslap is in order.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize