Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
