Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
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