Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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