Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
