Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
