cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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