just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
