I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
