You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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