Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
