your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
